sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
