he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
