Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize