I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
