And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
