I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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