I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
