you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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