CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
