"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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