Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.

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(845): forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night. http://tfl.nu/wdqe

Replies (6) Good night (1309) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
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(253): View more from Washington

Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab

(253): View more from Washington

I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.

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(253): Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab (253): I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea. http://tfl.nu/y0mn

Replies (3) Good night (2248) Bad night (498)
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(251): View more from Alabama

How was last night?

(334): View more from Alabama

She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.

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(251): How was last night? (334): She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast. http://tfl.nu/qxti

Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (2105)
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(813): View more from Florida

Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.

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(813): Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear. http://tfl.nu/hyjr

Replies (20) Good night (626) Bad night (6377) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.

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(630): you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car. http://tfl.nu/fzr7

Replies (18) Good night (5511) Bad night (638)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta

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(513): Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta http://tfl.nu/m4p5

Replies (37) Good night (3746) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.

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(732): i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that. http://tfl.nu/vsly

Replies (26) Good night (1087) Bad night (7813)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.

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(519): You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do. http://tfl.nu/ggug

Replies (29) Good night (6298) Bad night (923)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless

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(608): Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless http://tfl.nu/2knh

Replies (75) Good night (3678) Bad night (1333) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me

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(215): i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me http://tfl.nu/j6i2

Replies (13) Good night (1235) Bad night (3684) Order T-Shirt
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(865): View more from Tennessee

In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

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(865): In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly. http://tfl.nu/9uwy

Replies (10) Good night (654) Bad night (4053) Order T-Shirt
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Green mimosas i think yes

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(502): Green mimosas i think yes http://tfl.nu/w98u

Replies (4) Good night (1462) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities

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(217): Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities http://tfl.nu/y8n2

Replies (3) Good night (2352) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that

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(250): The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet (1-250): Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that http://tfl.nu/74qk

Replies (10) Good night (314) Bad night (760)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.

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(608): Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening. http://tfl.nu/bdxc

Replies (7) Good night (1577) Bad night (242) Order T-Shirt

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