You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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