i just google imaged poop.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
