Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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