ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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