porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
