Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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