and you said cock pushups were impossible
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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