dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
