there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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