I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
