all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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