What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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