Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
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Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
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Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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