Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
