Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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