That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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