They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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