You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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