Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
