I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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