benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
