Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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