Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
