i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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