I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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