i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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