and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
