is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
