What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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