I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You can't just leave with hair like that
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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