Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
