I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
