Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Come see our sink grown plant.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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