it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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