I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
