dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think my moral compass just broke
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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