And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize