I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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