just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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