She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
