im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
