I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize