The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize