I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
