I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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