i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
