Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize