Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
