i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
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I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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