Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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